Out the mouths of babes

I cannot tell a lie Mummy!

A couple of days ago my highly independent, endlessly curious daughter became really upset when I would not allow her to climb a step ladder to help me replace the verandah light bulb.

She stood in the front doorway of our house pronouncing through gulping sobs: “It’s not FAIR! It’s not fair!!! It’s not faaaaaaaaaaaair!”

After trying to ignore her for a little while, I could no longer stand the wailing, afraid that the neighbours might come rushing outside to see what inhuman punishments I was meting out to my helpless child.

But before I could utter either placation or threat, I was astounded and amused beyond measure to hear her next woeful words: “It’s not fair! Now I have to find another house!”

“Another house sweetheart? But why?” I asked, bemused.

“Because I have to find another place to live!” she tearfully explained.

As with the time she announced quite innocently and guilelessly after soundly slapping the fat roll that is my stomach: “Mommy is a fat lady!”, I had to issue a loud guffaw of astonished disbelief.

I mean, can you please tell me where children pick up these things? She is only two-and-a-half after all! What can I look forward to after another 10 years of development?